Deeper Life In Christ Ministries, Inc.
1316 Olympic Court, SW
Conyers, GA 30012
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Bible Study, Tuesday 7 pm
Practical Ways To Control Anger
Copyright © 2013 DLIC Bible Study Lesson, Pastor Juandolyn Stokes
Scripture Lesson: Ephesians 4:1-30
Scripture Focus: Ephesians 4:26
Anger is a strong emotion that is often times difficult to manage. We become angry at our spouses, children, finances and even ourselves. The bible does not negate the emotion of anger, but gives us clear instructions on how to control it. The bible teaches us that anger cannot be avoided, but it can be controlled. Being rooted in God helps believers to maintain a godly Christian walk that continues to bring glory to God. Examine below practical ways to control your anger.
Step 1: SIGNS - What do you feel in your body when you are getting mad?
In order to stay mellow, you have to know when you are getting angry and just how angry you are. Some signs are: fists clenched, fast breathing, hot face, tight chest, legs or arms, mean thoughts, or tears, and so on. Angry people usually think that they are either mad or not, on and off, like a light switch-you're either cool or you've blown. Anger is not binary, it is analogue. Anger builds slowly and can be stopped if caught early. There are many stopping places along the way.
Step 2: STOP! - Say this out loud to yourself. You can say “Stop” “Slow down” “Be cool,” or “Mellow out.”
Talking to yourself like this helps you to keep from blowing it when you are getting close. You can do it - like when you decided the other guy was too big, waited to fight till after school or maintained in order to stay out of trouble. It just feels like you don’t have control, but you do, especially when there are consequences you don’t like.
Step 3: BREATHING- Take some deep breaths.
Taking deep breaths gives you a little time to think about things. This helps you move into the parasympathetic nervous system which should calm you down and allow blood flow to move from the limbic system (fight or flight) to the frontal lobes (thinking about future consequences and higher thinking).
Step 4: CONSEQUENCES- What will happen if you get angry?
Getting mad and screwing with someone always makes you lose, even when you feel better for a while. You may think you're winning, but you're not. So, figure out, step by step, what will happen after you blow. It helps if you can figure out how you got into the problem too. You did something to get yourself into the fight - so do something different for the next time. Write it out if you can. Writing amazingly takes away a lot of anger.
Step 5: CALM DOWN - Learning how to calm down.
When you get angry, you may do your addiction, or run away. Think about what you want to do to “process” the anger. Doesn’t that sound like a counseling thing to say? But it is true. Unprocessed anger is likely to come back and haunt you.
Take a walk, run or exercise. Take your dog for a walk. Write in a journal. Listen to music. Clean the house. Do something productive with all this anger. Anger breeds energy. Use it to your benefit. Ask yourself what part you had it in. Thirty minutes is a good time frame to stay away until you are calm. This is called the “30 minutes” rule. When you need to take a break, you can say so and state that you are taking the 30 minute break. This means there is no chase scene between partners and that the person leaving is not “leaving for good.” This helps us not freak out when the person says they are leaving. The rule dictates that you will call after 30 minutes to say what you are going to do, whether you need more time or will be coming home.